• Kathryn Andren © 2020

Relationship Astrology: Understanding the Essential Elements

Updated: May 27


Your astrology sun sign illuminates what takes center stage in your life and what is important to you. You are more then your sun sign, however. Ask an astrologer about the essential elements present in the personal planets of your birth chart. Here is an exploration for insights on relationship values, wants, needs and desires:


Sun = where you shine, how feel affirmed

Moon = your emotional attachments, bonding patterns, where you feel safe

Mercury = your thinking style, communication clues

Venus = values and priorities, what you want & what you find attractive

Mars = what drives you to action, how you direct your passionate desire


These planets can be in any of the twelve Zodiac signs. The twelve signs are divided in 4 groups based on the elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. These elements each have an essential essence, just like spices on a spice rack.


Understanding the different flavors in the elements of a birth chart reveals clues to innate wants and desires. The Zodiac signs in your birth chart gives clues to partnership priorities. If you are ready to spice up the dynamics of your love life, or looking for more clarity about what makes you or your partner tick, read on!


Earth signs: value sensual pleasures, steadiness, and reliability.

Earth signs want to make things last. Let’s work on this!


Air signs: get excited by conversation and connection.

Air signs are thinkers and talkers. Let’s keep our options open.


Fire signs: get turned on by fun and adventure.

Fire signs are action oriented. Light me up! Energize me, inspire me!


Water signs: desire depth of emotional connection.

Water signs focus on feelings. How do we feel about all this?


The Fire signs in the Zodiac are Aires, Leo and Sagittarius.

In astrology, these zodiac signs relate to action or instinct. The fire signs on a date want action and adventure.


Fire signs are freedom loving and have a tendency to be more individualistic. Let them take the lead. They may excite you or annoy you with their impulsiveness. They move with instinct, acting first, thinking later. Fire signs are naturally charismatic, with a certain life force or spark that is very attractive.


If you are dating a fire sign, remember, there is a tendency to be individualistic. Give them plenty of space to be in their own rhythm. Be spontaneous and adventurous!


Fire sign values:

Aries - Let’s do something fun. Take me by surprise. Light me up!


Leo - Make me feel special. I want to know I am important to you.


Sagittarius - Let’s have an adventure together. Inspire me! Let’s hit the trail and go places together!


You find the fire element in nature in the Sun, starlight and candlelight. It is symbolic of attraction and warmth. Fire signs are dynamic and life giving.

When you are near a fire sign, you may feel all warm all over. If they are reactive however, you will feel the heat!


If breaking up, the attitude is let’s make it or break it. They will not linger too long if something is not working. They are action oriented and will not look back. They want to move through it fast!



The Earth signs are Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.

In astrology these zodiac signs relate to the physical realm, body and belongings. Earth signs on a date are looking for something that lasts.

The Earth signs are very aware of their physical bodies. There is a deep appreciation for the senses; all I can touch, taste, feel, see and smell. They have a strong need for security and desire what is practical and ‘down to earth’. These are the people who build bridges and corporations. In general, they prefer planning then being surprised. They value rules, ethics and guidelines so that their life feels safe and works for them. They have the ability to follow through. You can rely on them to be solid and responsible.

You find the Earth element in nature in rocks and mountains. The symbolic energy is foundation: I can rely on you. You are steady and solid.


Earth sign values:

Taurus - Touch me, hold me, feed me! Take me out for dinner or make me a delicious meal. Massage me, or book a day for us at the spa together.


Virgo - Let’s work before play. Then go for a workout or enjoy each other with indoor sports under the covers. Must take a shower before and after!


Capricorn - What are the rules for this relationship? I want to know if this is going somewhere.


If breaking up, the attitude is, it took time to build this. Let’s take our time and be sure of what we really want before we break it down.

The Air signs are Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius.

In astrology these zodiac signs relate to the mental realm of intellect and ideas. Air signs on a date want dynamic conversation. They want to connect with others not only though the heart, but with the mind.

The air signs are thinkers. They move quickly, so if you are dating an air sign, you better keep up. They are stimulated by movement and intellectual conversation. Know that the air signs like to keep their options open, they are social and gain energy by interacting with others.


Remember how air moves in nature. Imagine wind blowing, the breeze comes and goes. The symbolic energy is a fast pace - can you keep up with me?


Air sign values:


Gemini - Talk to me, ask me questions. Stimulate my mind with a variety of dynamic dialogue. Or, let’s go dancing to mix things up. Or let’s take a class and learn something. Talk to me, that’s the best way for us to get to know each other.


Libra - What do you want to do? I appreciate beauty, culture and the fine arts. Take me to the art museum or a concert with the symphony. Let’s simply relax and enjoy each other. Being together is most important!


Aquarius - How can we take our love to a higher level? Let’s do yoga or pray together. Are you into sex toys? Let’s experiment how we can we use the latest technology to enhance our experience.


If breaking up, let’s talk it out first. Emotional detachment and mental rationalization is necessary in order to move on.



The Water signs are Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

In astrology the water signs relate to the emotional realm, processing feelings, and creating connections. Water signs on a date want to feel a depth of emotional connection with another.


The water signs are the feelers. There is empathy with the water signs so there can be a fast sense of intimacy or a feeling of familiarity. Settle in and move slow, there is a deep caring and connection with water signs.


Notice how water moves in nature. Water takes many forms and shapes: clouds, rivers, ocean, steam and snowflakes. The symbolic energy is that there are many moods with water signs, so go with the flow!


Cancer - Meet me at home


Scorpio - Meet me under the covers


Pisces - Meet me, anytime, anywhere





If breaking up with a water sign, know you may have to dive deep with emotional processing. Be sure to slow down and feel all your feelings around the situation first before taking action.

Understanding these essential elements can support more understanding in relationships. For more clarity and compassion in life and love, check out your personal astrology birth chart to see how these elements are alive in you.


Kathryn Andren is an astrologer and intuitive currently based in New York. Dedicated to healing service since 1997, she integrates astrology, art, energy healing & massage therapy in her private practice. Her deep connection to land, sea and sky inspires a holistic approach to her consulting and teaching. She holds a BA in Psychology and embodies years of professional experience with intuitive wisdom. Learn more, visit www.kathrynandren.com



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